What I'm Worth... Supposedly

HumanForSale.com - Eliminate Wrinkles

--Till then...

Dying to Leave

Done with living here.
You made it worse.
I can't feel at home here.
Now more than ever I need SLEEP.
Grant me this simple request:

Try and see things my way.
Only then will I stop.

Love is what my end goal is.
Easy to find it is not.
Although it exists.
Value what you have but don't be afraid to want more.
Even if someone else tells you to stop.




THIS IS SO 7th GRADE

--Till then...

Eff Insomnia

Insomnia seems to be getting worse lately, which usually isn't a good sign. Last night, I went to bed at 10, taking a Benadryl at like 8:30. The entire time was a struggle to get and stay asleep with horrible dreams along the way. And here I am, awake at 3, even though I woke up at 6:30 this morning... This is MADDENING. Nothing works. It's like I'm meant to stay up or something. I used to have terminal insomnia, or early-morning waking. Now I can't even fall asleep like I used to. Even though I have a pretty rigid schedule that I've been on for weeks, I can't fall asleep. UHHHHHHH!!! Sadly, no one really understands it. My friend with insomnia doesn't seem too phased by it. You really take it for granted when you can sleep easily. But these incessant thoughts...

This kind of sums up everything:



--Till then...

Rant: Living Alone

I'm sorry to interrupt the 30 days thing, but I feel like I need to rant. The following rant is just that: a rant. So please take no offense to it. It's just my opinion.

Maybe it's just my own personal preference (hell, it definitely is), but the idea of living alone to me seems not only highly unpractical, but extremely unnecessary at this age. Recently, with people figuring out where they're going to live after college or just their next year of college, I've constantly been hearing "I just want to live alone", as if living with another person is a disease worse than death. I understand that there are some benefits to living alone such as being able to be messy however you want or do almost anything you want in your residency while having maximum privacy, but I believe there are far more drawbacks to living alone and even more benefits living with someone else. There are obvious ones like reduced costs and security, but the one that is most important to me (again, this is my personal opinion) is something I've been thinking about. I hear all the time "I just want to be alone" and other similar statements. To those who say such things, all I have to say is this:

You have your whole life to be alone. You only have today to be with friends.

Think about it: when you're thirty and living by yourself, will you have the opportunity to hang out with your best friends as much as you do now? Everything will change once we "settle down". Now is the time to be with those we love while we still can. To me, the most depressing thing in the world is eating dinner alone. I am dreading the day were eating alone is the norm of my sad existence. Having a roommate, even if they're not someone you're particularly close to, is a blessing. The only thing I regret by being an RA is not being able to have a roommate... I'm not looking forward to my boring, quiet studio in the Murphy's next Fall Quarter.....

So, in conclusion, just think about it for a second. What's most important right now? Things you can do whenever you want anytime you want? Or the things you can only do today?



--Till then...

Part 二

Day 07: A Photo That Makes You Happy
Well, there's a lot of those, so I'm gonna put two. This one is awesome for obvious reasons! I keep realizing that Aimi's graduation was one of the happiest moments in my lifetime, I guess because it was a ray of sunshine in a particularly bleak year.
This picture made me laugh right when I saw it because of Julia's hand gesture and Erika's face.
Day 08: A Picture That Makes You Angry/Sad
This picture makes me angry and sad for many reasons. I'm pretty sure I was happy when this picture was taken, but this night was definitely a turning point emotionally in my life. It shows such wasted promise and potential it makes me sick. Things could have turned out much better. They still technically could. This picture also makes me sad because it reminds me how much joy you've taken out of my life. I can't do origami or take pictures anymore, two of my greatest joys, because of you.
Day 09: A Photo You Took
Nara, one of the oldest cities in Japan, was a million photo opportunities waiting to happen. This one, I feel, captures the essence of Japan.

--Till then...

Part 一

While writing this, I realized that it is almost painfully revealing. Uhhhh, so just a warning.

Day 01: Your Favorite Song
Well, as many of you who know me, I have a very weird and messed up relationship with music. To me, music is very personal and I feel because meaningless when we share it, which I think almost everyone would disagree with me about. But I guess I'll offer it anyways.



I know, I know, how lame, a song from Inuyasha, but seriously, this song is amazing (you should listen to the full version). I think I love it especially because I'd hear it when I would fall asleep in high school cause it was on late at night. Nighttime is usually a scary, anxious time for me, but this song made it better.

Day 02: Your Favorite Movie
This is so hard to pinpoint, but I'll do it by genre. Traditionally Animated: Spirited Away. 3-D Animated: Up! Stop-Motion: Coraline. Comedy: Billy Madison. Romantic Comedy: Lost in Translation (I'm putting it in this category just cause I want to put it somewhere! There's romance and comedy in it, right?). Tragedy: Sophie's Choice. Musical: Hairspray. Drama: 誰も知らない（Dare mo Shiranai, Nobody Knows） and 東京ソナタ（Tokyo Sonata)　(I can't pick! They're both good). Bad Movie: Crossroads or B.A.P.S.

Day 03: Your Favorite TV Show
Well, LOST is definitely the show I follow the hardest. The broad cast of characters is amazing. They all have such depth and each episode has the depth of a movie. The thing that irritates me, though, is that people who I love are killed off and their back story is never explained. It's unfair that the characters that are "popular" (but usually the least interesting) get top billing while the true mysteries are never revealed :'(. But since LOST ends this year, I will be focusing all of my unused fan attention towards glee which is such an amazing show. The characters are hilarious, the songs phenomenal, and the acting is spot on (well, except for Finn. GET A BETTER LEADING MALE STUDENT!!!). I could write SOOO much more about other shows I love, but I feel like I'm being way long winded.

Day 04: Your Favorite Book
I am OBSESSED with the Wizard of Oz series of books. They are absolutely beautiful and paint a world never before realized in fiction. It truly is America's first fairytale.

Day 05: Your Favorite Quote
I'm not one for quotes. I usually let other people do that for me. But one particularly striking quote I heard at Mass back home in Milwaukee: "You can't get to heaven alone; you can't get to hell alone." It just highlights how important we are to one another in the overall scheme of things.

Day 06: Whatever Tickles Your Fancy
I love puzzles. I think it stems from my OCD, particularly the part that makes me always pick out patterns in disorder. There's nothing more satisfying than completing a puzzle after a long try. Puzzles that I'm particularly good at: Sudoku, Picross, Text Twist, and Bejeweled. I think puzzles go hand in hand for my love of math: they just work.

--Till then...

Get ready...

Soooooooooo..... I think I'm gonna do this cause Elaine attempted it and Bessie dominated it! I think it'll be something nice to do, but I'm gonna break it up into chunks.

Day 01 �¨ Your favorite song
Day 02 �¨ Your favorite movie
Day 03 �¨ Your favorite television program
Day 04 �¨ Your favorite book
Day 05 �¨ Your favorite quote
Day 06 �¨ Whatever tickles your fancy
Day 07 �¨ A photo that makes you happy
Day 08 �¨ A photo that makes you angry/sad
Day 09 �¨ A photo you took
Day 10 �¨ A photo of you taken over ten years ago
Day 11 �¨ A photo of you taken recently
Day 12 �¨ Whatever tickles your fancy
Day 13 �¨ A fictional book
Day 14 �¨ A non-fictional book
Day 15 �¨ A fanfic
Day 16 �¨ A song that makes you cry (or nearly)
Day 17 �¨ An art piece (painting, drawing, sculpture, etc.)
Day 18 �¨ Whatever tickles your fancy
Day 19 �¨ A talent of yours
Day 20 �¨ A hobby of yours
Day 21 �¨ A recipe
Day 22 �¨ A website
Day 23 �¨ A YouTube video
Day 24 �¨ Whatever tickles your fancy
Day 25 �¨ Your day, in great detail
Day 26 �¨ Your week, in great detail
Day 27 �¨ This month, in great detail
Day 28 �¨ This year, in great detail
Day 29 �¨ Hopes, dreams and plans for the next 365 days
Day 30 �¨ Whatever tickles your fancy


--Till then...