Love blowing the dust off of this. Currently I'm trying to fulfill a dream. I would say it is a lifelong dream, but I only realized I truly wanted this in 2010. But my own mind is paralyzed at the thought of failure. No matter how much I try to remind myself that if I don't even try, I fail instantly, it doesn't work. I cannot make any progress. I'm so tired, but I know if I stop, I'll never get it back. I need to seize this. I wish a thousand Internet voices could offer me encouragement, but that's not going to happen.
That just reminded me of something I realized. I've never once in my life had someone who actually believed in me and what I want to do. Sure, people are "supportive", but I've never had a cheerleader who really wants me to succeed where I want to succeed. My parents are hopelessly self-absorbed at this point. They never paid much attention to me to begin with, so why would they stop now? I have so many revenge fantasies because of this. But if I could just get my brain working on the task at hand, I could make these revenge fantasies a reality.
First thing first, I'd make a big announcement on Facebook saying fuck you to all the enemies I've had in life. I'd show off my success -my real, honest, creative, unique success -and make them rue the day they ever counted me out. They all have super fucking basic success. Nothing unique.
I need this unique success. So I need my mind to start working again. I'd ask for help, but fuck you and your basic ways.
The New PostSecret Book
3 years ago