And the Results are In!!!

Let me start off by first saying that I feel hollow right now. I feel kind of just stuck in time with no purpose. I just got finished watching a bunch of Japanese music videos on YouTube, but now I feel like doing nothing. Absolutely nothing.

Anyways, here are the results of my goals that I set for myself for Spring Break:

1.) Didn't even play it or put it in my PS2.... Sad. There's still a possibility for tonight, but I doubt it. Although I know once I start playing, I won't be able to stop.
2.) I remembered half-way into the week that I left the book in Milwaukee. Wow, I'm dumb.
3.) This one I did accomplish!!! I think I'm a LOT better than before, which is nice.
4.) Well, I went Monday and Tuesday, but nothing after that. I'm still pretty proud of myself for going two days in a row, though. Also, when I went, it said that I had lost 4 pounds from the last time that I had been in the gym (sometime in early February), which is bizarre because both Las Vegas (where I did nothing but eat) and Finals Week (which is when I ate a lot and a lot of not so good food) were in between that time. I guess that's a good thing. But I did a TON of walking on Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday so I think I was active enough over break, which was the real intent of this goal.
5.) Well, I think I did well with this one. I'm a whole hell of a lot less depressed after talking to Julia *OK, quick tangent time, I just thought today was Friday. Wow. I am dumb...* on Skype for hours. It was so liberating to talk to her and remember how good of a friend she is even though we are separated by thousands and thousands of miles. We talked mainly about the thing that has been the focus of all my thoughts for the past month, which was REALLY needed. I now think more positively about that subject, though it is still hard. As far as being less of a douchebag, I worked on it. I helped my friends move, tried being more generous, and stopped whining so much. It was nice, though, because I think it paid itself in spades for doing all of those things. Thanks guys ~^_^~

So, in the end, I took care of the goals that I think were the most important. I knew this break was not going to be long at all with work every day and whatnot, but I think I used my time as best as I could. I was especially glad that I got to hang out with Janie and develop a stronger friendship with her. I even got to meet her mom! How cool is that???

Well, I now have RA stuff to do.... I really got shafted this break with how many more duty shifts that I got put on than everyone else on staff. I am totally going to even out the playing field this quarter and make sure lazy people on staff actually do their fair share of the work. FUCK YOU, YOU KNOW WHO. Oh, and I also have to finish our door decorations, which consist of amazing origami pieces that Janie and Philip made!!!! Let me just say this now: I am ECSTATIC that the two of them are moving onto MY floor!!!! They are SUCH amazing people and now we can hang out even more!!!!!

Hmmm.... Maybe my life doesn't suck so much after all? Blogging truly is therapeutic.

--Till then...

Paradox Week and Goals

This week has been the weirdest week of my life. It has been a week where I've felt the most joyous and felt the most worthless (probably with more emphasis on the worthless). I've proved myself to myself while letting down the people I care about. I found something to work towards for the rest of my life and cried for the first time in a year over it, yet still want to pursue it. I've been with people almost every hour of each day this week, yet I've never felt so lonely. But it's over. And I have no clue where to go from here or if it will go the way I want it to. It both scares and thrills me.

I now have a week to myself (for the most part) and I want to set some goals for myself, even though I'll be busy still.

1.) Beat Persona 3 and start Persona 4.
2.) Finish Brave Story and maybe restart Goblet of Fire.
3.) Get better at Super Smash Bros.: Brawl so that I can have something to show for all the time I put into it..... and so that I can kick Philip's ass ^_~
4.) Go to the gym every day (let's see if I can actually do this....).
5.) Be less depressed/less of a douche.

Think I can do it??? I hope so. I'll also try to blog each day. But if I promise that, I don't think I will do it.

--Till then...

The Flame

A man was walking in the woods, lost from the rest of his party. He had been wandering the seemingly infinite forest for 21 hours now, looking for some sort of help. When he was first separated, he was happy, enjoying the beautiful world around him, but after the 13th hour, he realized he was cold and unresponsive to all but that which would sustain him. It felt like he had been wandering in circles the entire time, not making any progress towards rescue. He returned to a spot that he had found recently. It was a peaceful spot that seemed undisturbed by the predators that prowled at night. He had earlier deemed it a resting place in case he was unable to find rescue. But as he was walking up to it, the lost soul noticed a faint light. He drew closer to this mysterious light and felt the warmth he had needed for so long. As the source of light came into view, he saw a humble campfire, burning wildly in the dark night. Why hadn’t he noticed it before? Closer and closer he came to it, seeking its warmth. The initial heat he felt stung his chapped, frozen skin. But slowly, his body got used to the newfound source of life, bringing him back from near-death. The more warmth he felt, the more warmth he wanted, so he drew closer. He was now just on the cusp of the flames, but he didn’t care. He went forward. His skin began to burn, but he continued. On and on he went, and his entire body became consumed in flames. Unbearable pain shot across his entire body, but, for whatever reason, he knew it was worth it. Finally, at the center of the blaze, the burning finally stopped, and the man was one with the flame. He looked at his new state, shining brightly as the full moon. The flame and him now provided light to the entire world that was covered in darkness. And he was happy.

--Till then...