Monday, December 21, 2009

Thinking About the Future; Looking Back at the Past

Seeing the "Graduation Party" invite just makes me realize how inevitable the end of school is. Even though I feel like it'll never come, it will. And now, even though I'd rather stay with you, my friends, forever, I am happily thinking about the future.

When I first came to school, all I wanted to do was go home and live with my parents for the rest of my life. That's all I honestly wanted. I wanted it because it was safe, comforting, and free of change. When I was leaving for college, I was excited for change, but when I actually got there, I realized how much change scared the shit out of me. Looking into the future was the last thing I wanted to do, because I felt like I had no future. I felt like I was going to be alone forever. I had no clue how I'd make friends, nor why anyone would want to be friends with me in the first place. But somehow, I met the greatest people in the world.

Recently, I've been wondering what my life would have been like if I had taken a different path. I think, overall, going to the University of San Fransisco would have been a better fit for me. They have a Japanese studies major (a fact that, if I had known about it, would have led me there for sure. Sadly, the recruiter who came to my high school failed to mention this when I asked her about their Japanese program.....), and I feel like I would have liked the city a bit more than bleak Seattle. The more I look at it, the more I wish I had done it, and looking at the courses they offer makes me cringe in regret. I wouldn't be graduating this late (assuming that my family let me do it earlier), I would be doing something I love, and I'd have the possibility to add another major or degree. But, given the chance to do it over, I don't think I would. The friends I have made at Seattle University are nothing short of life-changing. I guess this brings me back to the sad fact that I'll never have this environment with my friends ever again... Living with you all has been the greatest thing in the world. That's why I miss freshman year so much, being literally across the hall from people I enjoy to my core.

But, as I hate to admit it, things must change. Well, if they're going to change, then I might as well pursue something different that I wanted to do, right? That's why I'm so excited for the next four years. This summer, I will hopefully be in Japan, the land of my dream, taking intensive classes in the subject I am best at: Japanese. And, on top of that, all expenses will be paid in full. Then, with a little luck and some great recommendations, I'll be able to live and work in Japan through the JET program. I want to do it for at least two years, but I hope that I like it enough to do three. By that time, I pray that I am fluent enough in Japanese to get into the graduate school of my dreams, the Monterey Institute of International Studies, where fluency in another language is an entrance requirement. There, if I still have the will, I'll pursue a dual degree in Translation and Interpretation along with Teaching English to Speakers of Other Languages. I'll then be set to live abroad, pursuing my dream to be either an English professor at an East Asian university or to work for the U.S. government in the diplomatic corps. Either way, my dream life will be fulfilled.

Somewhere in between, I plan on doing this program at my high school called "Alumni Service Corps". In it, alumni from my high school who have earned a bachelor's degree teach classes based on what they're best at. I'd like to start a Japanese program there, since the only languages they offer there are Spanish, Latin, and German. Also in between, I hope to become fluent in at least one other language. I'm planning on it being Korean, as I hear they are starving for English teachers. I also want to learn Italian and Spanish. I feel like after learning Asian languages, these Romance languages will be a walk in the park.

Ah... Thinking about the future is fun. But working towards it is another thing.

--Till then...

P.S.: Sorry for the sucky writing. I have no clue why it's so awkwardly phrased.


♥ ELAINE. said...

I was thinking the same thing when I saw Liz post the graduation party event. I was thinking, "Wow, so early!" But in reality, it's only a couple of months away and that really scares me. We're only on break right now and I already miss you guys, imagine after we graduate.

But, yes, things do have to change eventually (I guesssss), and I'm excited that you have all these wonderful plans set up for you already. And, I also have thought about what would have happened if things were different and I probably wouldn't have changed anything if I had the change, because you guys are way too important. I don't know how things would be if I didn't meet you all :)

redapple said...

Aaah, even though I graduated, you all didnt graduate, so I still felt the closeness with all of you...but now that you all are graduating, I think we'll finally lead separate lives once that day comes...T.T

But I wish you all the best! I'm glad I met all of you at SU! I was talking with Elaine about how everyone's lives would have changed if either one of us didn't go to SU or didn't live in Xavior. And we came to a conclusion that one person missing would make a big difference, we would have been leading a completely different lifestyle with completely different friends. Each and everyone has made a difference in my lives, and I'm really glad for that. :) Thanks friends!!!