Wednesday, December 2, 2009


Yes, I haven't posted here in forever. I think it's because I feel this place should be a space to write down my feelings to share with others, but I feel like everyone is sick of hearing my problems. Whatever, I think it's more personal now. But I'd still greatly like if you respond to it....

Anger and hate are often intrinsically linked. For me, this is in a way, true. Someone who makes me angry in essence is the basis of who I hate. Hate is such a strong word, but I won't deny it. I hate a couple of people. And, as weird as this may sound, I hate out of love. For example, I hate my brother. He's a selfish, lying, hedonistic asshole. But it's out of love that I hate him. If I didn't love him, I wouldn't give a shit about him. But because I love him and see him throwing his life away and doing nothing to move forward, I hate him. He's dying in front of my, his life all but hopeless, so I hate him for it.

This same pattern applies to other people. People who I care for deeply, but throw their lives away for false reasons and live in their own world. They fill me with such anger. And what angers me the most is their reaction to this anger. My anger/hate that I described comes out because I care for/love someone. I see no point in getting angry at someone who does not impact my life. To me, this is quite obvious. But the people I am angry at can't see this. If I hate you, I love you.

In a way, this can apply to a macroscopic view. Most people on campus that I'd say I "hate" even though I know them very little anger me because, again, I feel like their life is being wasted. Everyone reading this might immediately think I'm an asshole. Maybe I am.

But I love you.

--Till then...

1 comment:

lehdev said...

sometimes people need to live in their own worlds and figure out what they want for themselves before they can even think about pleasing anyone else. you have to look out for your own sanity/happiness first.